The Heart of Anger
Pastor David Jones
Sunday Morning’s Message – 13th September 2026
Theme:
Jesus calls us beyond simply avoiding outward sin to allowing Him to transform the attitudes and emotions of our hearts. Rather than allowing anger, resentment and bitterness to control us, we are called to surrender them to Jesus, pursue forgiveness and reconciliation, and live at peace with others
Leader Guide:
Please choose what best suits your group and fits the time well. You do not need to discuss every question. Create your own questions that fit your group. Choose two or three areas to discuss. Make sure you include the closing thought.
Have fun, Jesus people!
Connect group Discussion
Read together Matthew 5:21–26
Opening
Jesus takes something that seems straightforward — “You shall not murder” — and takes us much deeper. God is not only concerned with what we do; God is concerned with what is happening in our hearts.
Jesus says:
“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.”— Matthew 5:22
The challenge is that we can easily think, “I haven't murdered anyone, so I'm doing okay.”
But Jesus asks a deeper question:
What is happening in our hearts toward other people?
1. Anger — more than just losing your temper
Not all anger is sinful. Jesus Himself showed righteous anger. Jesus made a whip and drove out the money changers (John 2:13-17)
But Jesus is addressing anger that becomes resentment, hostility, contempt, bitterness, or a desire for revenge.
Read together - James 1:19–20
Possible questions for us to discuss
What are some different ways anger can show itself besides shouting or losing our temper?
Why do you think it can be easier to recognise someone else's anger than our own?
What does being “slow to speak and slow to become angry” look like practically?
2. Anger can grow in the heart
Jesus describes a progression from anger to insults and contempt.
Sometimes anger doesn't explode — it simmers.
We replay conversations, keep score, hold onto offences, make little comments, withdraw affection, or quietly hope the other person gets what they deserve.
Read together - James 1:14–15 This verse reminds us that sin can begin with what is happening inside us before it becomes visible in our actions.
Possible questions for us to discussion
Why can hidden or “quiet” anger be just as dangerous to our relationships as an angry outburst?
Why do we sometimes justify our anger rather than surrender it to God?
What might it look like to bring our anger honestly to God before it turns into resentment?
3. Reconciliation matters to God
Read again - Matthew 5:23–24 - gives us a challenging picture:
“First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Jesus connects our relationship with God to the way we treat people.
Our worship and Christian service don’t excuse broken relationships or give us permission to be angry towards people or hold onto bitterness. We can lift our hands in worship, serve faithfully, lead others, and look spiritually strong on the outside, while still carrying unresolved anger and offence on the inside. Jesus reminds us that our relationship with God cannot be separated from the way we treat people. God is not only interested in our worship; He is interested in our hearts, our relationships, our words, and our willingness to pursue reconciliation.
We cannot use our service to God as a substitute for making things right with people. There are times when the most spiritual thing we can do is humble ourselves, forgive, apologise, have the difficult conversation, or take the first step towards reconciliation.
Read together - Romans 12:18
Possible questions for us to discuss
Why do you think Jesus places such importance on reconciliation?
What can make it difficult to take the first step toward reconciliation?
4. Don't give anger a foothold
Read - Ephesians 4:26–27 says:
“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
The goal isn’t pretending we never get angry. Anger is a real human emotion, and there will be times when we feel hurt, frustrated, disappointed, or even deeply wronged. The goal is learning what to do with our anger—how to bring it to God, deal with it honestly, and respond in a way that doesn’t allow anger to control us, damage our relationships, or turn into bitterness.
Possible questions for us to discuss
What are some healthy ways we can deal with anger before it controls us?
When you're angry, what helps you slow down before speaking or reacting?
Is there someone you need to forgive, speak with, apologise to, or make peace with?
Personal Reflection
Take a quiet moment and ask:
“Lord, is there any anger, resentment, bitterness or contempt in my heart that I need to surrender to You?”
Then consider:
Is there someone I need to forgive?
Is there someone I need to apologise to?
Is there a conversation I have been avoiding?
Am I holding onto something God is asking me to release?
We don't need to pretend our anger isn't there.
We can bring it to Jesus.
Closing Thought
Jesus is not simply saying, “Try harder not to get angry.”
He is revealing what is happening in our hearts and inviting us into something better — freedom, forgiveness, reconciliation and grace.
Anger is hard to live with. And it can be even harder for others to live with us when anger controls us.
Our prayer can simply be:
“Jesus, change my heart. Make me quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Help me forgive, seek reconciliation, and live at peace with others.”
Notes:
